1. All vampire flicks of a certain age must contain at least one unconvincing rubber bat bouncing on a string.
2. If you can’t get your hands on enough color stock to shoot your film, use B&W stock but tint the crap out of it.
3. Sunrise happens instantaneously in the Philippines, but you can block the light sufficiently with a small polyester lace shawl.
4. Filipino vampires can hypnotize you by way of Theramin music.
5. Filipino zombie vampires can be taken down by a wooden cross to the diaphragm. And for a limited time only, you can get Two Taps for One:
6. Filipino vampires in 1964 were rather forward-thinking – they could go about in sunlight so long as they wore oversized sunglasses.
7. Filipino vampire clans must employ both a mute hunchback toady and a dwarf toady.
8. According to this flick, a zombie vampire becomes full-blown vampire after drinking blood. However, a transfusion of blood from a living person into a zombie vampire (the Keith Richards treatment) will resurrect said zombie vampire into a living person.
9. However however, if a zombie vampire drinks the blood of a full-blown vampire, they both are resurrected into living people again.
10. However however however, if the Living Girl Formerly Known As Zombie Vampire trips on a bramble and cuts her leg, all bets are off and replacement hearts are necessary.
11. When chasing the vampire hordes in the Philippines, make sure you wear your Sunday best, and don’t forget your pocketbook.
12. Flares work just as well as sunlight against vampires.