1. When all the opening credits are in lower case letters, and the score is by Riz Ortolani, you are in for one treat of a movie.
2. I’m not sure which I find creepier: a little girl in full adult makeup, or a child-sized doll that bleeds when it is smashed in the face with a rock.
3. When you have a creepy, disturbing childhood, the best way to assert your adulthood independence is to rent an apartment in the creepiest, most disturbing house in the city.
4. The best creepy apartments are the ones with the stereotypical, creepy, old, Japanese handyman.
5. It was fashionable in 1981 Savannah, Georgia to dress like Mr. Spock Meets Holly Hobbie, especially for women.
6. Big, vicious Rottweilers are apparently just allowed to wander off-leash around Savannah. They are also very good at hiding. And are fans of Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining.
7. Priests are allowed to remove dead bodies from the hospital morgues and terrorize goofy landladies with them.
8. The best place to hide from a priest with a big-ass knife is under the camping cot.
9. The color yellow does not keep you safe.
10. It’s perfectly logical, and not at all worrisome, to think that your creepy uncle has put together your birthday party in the creepy basement in your creepy apartment house.
11. The best birthday party decorations are gazillions of lit candles, Christmas lights, a Mickey Mouse poster, a bunch of naked broken baby dolls … and a few dead people.
12. Considering that the main character has both a crazy uncle and a crazy identical twin (who also has neurofibromatosis and some manner of sclerosis), it might be a good idea to cut down this family tree once and for all.