TUES 12: “The Holy Mountain” (Alejandro Jodorowsky, 1973)

FlorianBertmerTheHolyMountain

1.  Alexandro Jodorowsky is one odd bird.

2.  If you dress up horned toads in little Mexican costumes, they look absolutely darling!

Do you like it?  I got it all at Target!

Do you like it? I got it all at Target!

3.  Frogs in Conquistador costumes, not so darling.  Furthermore, it looks like they hate wearing them.

This is NOT what I meant by lap-band procedure!

This is NOT what I meant by lap-band procedure!

4.  The best way to eat an entire cow is to cook it whole and work your way from the inside out.

5.  The prostitutes of Where Ever the Hell This Takes Place have an interesting union: they must wear uniforms, have a chimpanzee with them at all times, and take glass eyes as payment.

6.  In the land of Where Ever the Hell This Takes Place, statues of Christ are made of papier-mâché, but the faces are pure marzipan!

7.  Make sure you get that lump on the back of your neck checked: for all you know, it may be full of blue tempera paint and a small octopus.

8.  The idea of a gun made of out of a menorah is amusing to me.  Talk about some bad-ass Hebrews: 

Do you feel verklempt, putz?  Well?  Do you?!

Do you feel verklempt, putz? Well? Do you?!

9.  All pet snakes should have a hand-knitted cozy:

Seriously, there are much better yarns than Red Heart Super Saver!  Spring for some Malabrigo, woman!

Seriously, there are much better yarns than Red Heart Super Saver! Spring for some Malabrigo, woman!

10. Okay, I can put up with poop turning into gold, machine guns made from Gibson guitars, making toys to train children to become ruthless killers, but I really have to draw the line at extreme violence towards a pink and white wedding cake.

11. The path up the Holy Mountain is littered with ponies standing in holes, fighting dogs, cows going at it, an old lady in a tree with a bunch of dead chickens, tarantulas, and a naked hermaphrodite.  What waits for you at the top?  Um … well, from here it looks like the KKK.

12. Sometimes the best way to end a movie is to just stop making it and tell everyone to leave.

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About The Knitting Cinephile

I'm obsessed with good yarn, bad movies, and the Hubster.
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