TH13: What I Learned From Watching “White Pongo” (1945)

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  1. If you see that a movie’s been directed by Sam Newfield (or Sigmund Neufeld), turn off the movie and back slowly away.
  2. Dark African landscape looks just like a deciduous Californian backlot.  With an occasional palmetto.
  3. Africa not only has gorillas, but also capuchin monkeys.  And black bears.  And Komodo dragons.
  4. Every expedition party must include not only the pretty blonde woman in Banana Republic couture, but also a Cockney-speaking wiseacre.
  5. George Lloyd does a terrible Cockney accent.
  6. Apparently a gorilla can breed with a human and will create the “missing link.”  A violent, murderous missing link, but a missing link nonetheless.
  7. If you are directing a movie that takes place in Africa, it is necessary to have your soundtrack constantly play effects of lions roaring.  So the audience doesn’t forget where the movie takes place.
  8. If you are on an African expedition, make sure you carry along: tubular metal full-size beds, full sets of glassware, large brass church bells, and feathered fancy dress frocks.
  9. Although gorillas are not “climbing beasts”, a gorilla will manage nicely up a bamboo ladder on his first try.
  10. The white gorilla will, of course, carry off the pretty blonde girl, but all he’s really interested in is her shiny necklace.
  11. Male gorillas fight for dominance by throwing small trees at each other and growling like dirt bikes.
  12. A rickety bamboo cage that wobbles and leans like a bad junior high shop class birdhouse will certainly hold a 500-lb. pissed-off white gorilla until the expedition gets back to London.
  13. If you’re sent by His Majesty to investigate an expedition for a white gorilla that is actually a front for Germans to set up a blood gold/diamond/whatever market, you will naturally save the day from those damned Gerries and get the girl in the end.  Huzzah!
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About The Knitting Cinephile

I'm obsessed with good yarn, bad movies, and the Hubster.
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