- If you see that a movie’s been directed by Sam Newfield (or Sigmund Neufeld), turn off the movie and back slowly away.
- Dark African landscape looks just like a deciduous Californian backlot. With an occasional palmetto.
- Africa not only has gorillas, but also capuchin monkeys. And black bears. And Komodo dragons.
- Every expedition party must include not only the pretty blonde woman in Banana Republic couture, but also a Cockney-speaking wiseacre.
- George Lloyd does a terrible Cockney accent.
- Apparently a gorilla can breed with a human and will create the “missing link.” A violent, murderous missing link, but a missing link nonetheless.
- If you are directing a movie that takes place in Africa, it is necessary to have your soundtrack constantly play effects of lions roaring. So the audience doesn’t forget where the movie takes place.
- If you are on an African expedition, make sure you carry along: tubular metal full-size beds, full sets of glassware, large brass church bells, and feathered fancy dress frocks.
- Although gorillas are not “climbing beasts”, a gorilla will manage nicely up a bamboo ladder on his first try.
- The white gorilla will, of course, carry off the pretty blonde girl, but all he’s really interested in is her shiny necklace.
- Male gorillas fight for dominance by throwing small trees at each other and growling like dirt bikes.
- A rickety bamboo cage that wobbles and leans like a bad junior high shop class birdhouse will certainly hold a 500-lb. pissed-off white gorilla until the expedition gets back to London.
- If you’re sent by His Majesty to investigate an expedition for a white gorilla that is actually a front for Germans to set up a blood gold/diamond/whatever market, you will naturally save the day from those damned Gerries and get the girl in the end. Huzzah!
Visits from Bad Movie Voyeurs and Yarn-a-Holics:
- 18,807 hits
What’s Your Pleasure?
READ THESE TOO!