So the Hubster comes home and sees me in what he thinks is “The Pit of Decadence” . . . meaning, I’m wearing my pajamas, sprawled in my recliner, knitting, and watching 1978’s Convoy. Seriously. My argument was that I wasn’t eating bon-bons, so how could I rate “The Pit of Decadence” award? I wasn’t watching Days of our Lives either.
I used to, though. Watched that show religiously. I think watching the bad movies is better. At least a bad movie won’t draw out a cliffhanger for 6 weeks.
But anyway, Hubster sighed and sat down and watched the end of Convoy with me. In case you’ve forgotten, the lead character, Rubber Duck (Kris Kristofferson who is 1978 was a pretty sexy guy especially whne he had his shirt off, which is a majority of the movie) is supposedly pulling a tanker containing 10,000 gallons of “nitro-manite”, a supposed class-b explosive. At the end of the film, Rubber Duck is crossing a small bridge and his rig is being fired on by an M-60 machine gun through his radiator. Rubber Duck manages to somehow hard turn his rig so that it separates from his tanker trailer. His rig falls into the river, and the tanker explodes into a lovely fireball, and Rubber Duck manages to survive this whole escapade.
But here are my problems with this:
- there is no such thing as “nitro-manite”. There’s nitromuriate, nitrobarite, and many other “nitro” whatevers. Hubster is a metallurgical engineer and he hasn’t heard of it either, although I suspect that he will spend part of his day at work today figuring this one out.
- Do tanker trucks actually carry 10,000 gallons of anything? If a gallon of liquid weighs an average of 10 pounds, then the truck would be 100,000 pounds and definitely overweight.
- If “nitro-manite” is a class-b explosive, why is a hillbilly trucker driving it around on an open road, yet crashing through buildings in “Alvarez, Texas” with no ill-effects?
- Wouldn’t the bullets fired from an M-60 machine gun perforate the radiator of your standard 1977 Mack truck, and perforate the driver in the process?
- How could a driver hard turn his rig on a bridge, so that it separates from his tanker yet keep the tanker going on a straight route on the bridge?
- If 10,000 gallons of a class-b explosive went FOOM on a bridge, wouldn’t it take out much more than just itself (leaving the bridge and the surround areas intact)?
- Could firing at a tanker (with the M-60 machine gun, don’t forget) supposedly filled with 10,000 gallons of a class-b explosive actually cause it to explode?
Eh, the whole thing is flawed. Also, Ali McGraw looks an awful lot like Shari Belafonte in this movie. Seriously. Ali, you didn’t need to tan that much.
And no, Kris didn’t have that much of a six-pack, either. But it was still pretty good. Sigh . . .